Category Archives: Family Caregiver

Communing with God

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During this Covid 19 Pandemic, when church is not available to many, people have found their own special ways to communicate with God.  Does it Help?  It certainly does.  God Hears us, especially in quietness and stillness, when there are no interruptions, when you are relaxed and ready to commune.

I have a neighbor who communicates with God when planting and tending to her garden. Another neighbor sits with her family and reads the Bible and devotions every day.

A friend loves to hike and listens to God speak and prays while she enjoys this activity.  Several friends walk for the same purpose.

My Dad had a hobby of flying small aircraft.  This was his special way to communicate with God.

Then there’s water.  Some people commune with God when fishing, canoeing, kayaking, paddle boarding, etc.

My special way during the summer is swimming in the lake.  I start my day in the water at 7:30 AM.  I literally go jump in the lake.  My most restful stroke is the breaststroke.  I do it for a full half hour doing the stroke to perfection, including breathing.  As I breath out I say my Mantra which is Abba, meaning God. I start with praising God for his many blessings He has bestowed on me.  Then I thank Him for the beauty that He has bestowed to all of us with the trees, flowers, birds, critters of the sea and land…in other words whatever comes to mind each morning. I realize how lucky I am to be able to enjoy this activity so easily.  Finally, I ask Him for my many wishes and wants.  Some are small, others are larger, realizing that He grants what He feels is best for me. At the same time, I am giving my body excellent exercise.  What a wonderful way to start the day!

God is there wanting to communicate with us.  Find your special way, do it daily and I promise it will be very satisfying.

Turning Lemons into Lemonade

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A very major transition in life would be your loved one’s health deteriorating to a point that he or she needs to be cared for, mostly by you.  Instead of socializing and having fun together, you are now thrown into a care giving role.  Are you prepared?  Perhaps not. Your whole life changes from one of happily socializing to one of isolation.  We are lucky in Oconee County to have many types of support groups for listening, guidance, and respite. 

However, we have been thrown a curve ball to make isolation a temporary way of life…the Corona Virus.  To prevent the virus spreading to you, isolation, social distancing, masks, and gloves when you must be in public.  All face-to-face support groups and medical counseling have been suspended.  What should you do to stay healthy and survive this period for you and your loved one? The list consists of get plenty of rest and sleep; engage in hobbies, crafts, or other fun activities; exercise; eat nutritiously; socialize with family and friends; and pamper yourself.

Getting Plenty of rest and sleep – This is obvious and perhaps easier during our mandated Coronavirus isolation.

Engage in Hobbies, Crafts or Other Fun Activities – Spending a lot of time in front of a TV can provide some form of entertainment, however, not the best entertainment.   Engaging you and your loved one in crafts, puzzles and games that hold both of your interest, keep your minds active and mood positive.

Exercise – You may or may not have exercise equipment at home. However, walks in your neighborhood are great.  Today the sun came out.  I grabbed my dog and got in a good half hour walk.  It felt great!

Good Nutrition – Having to stay at home leads to over-eating and snacking.  When I want to snack, I first take a large glass of water.  If I’m still hungry I favor fruits.  I also believe in eating plenty of fruits and vegetables at mealtime, portioning food on a small plate.  Usually if I’m hungry for sweets, it’s because I’m tired.

Socializing – Even when you’re isolated, it’s important to socialize.  I make good use of texting, Facebook, emailing, etc. to keep in touch with family and friends.

Pamper Yourself – When I was a family caregiver, I found I needed to get out of the house to have private time. Realizing this, I have made sure that Loving Health Care follows all the CDC rules to keep you and your loved one safe and protected from the Corona Virus.  People who have called for help for at least four hours a week notice the improvement in their mood and spirits. Even during social distancing, a nice walk or shopping does wonders. We’re here to help you.

Activities For Senior Men

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So many male clients who have dementia, end up isolated with their best friends being their family caregiver and the television. Studies show that inactivity and lack of socialization lead to an unhappy life and an early death.

Figuring out activity for a senior male who has worked all his life, perhaps without hobbies is most difficult.  They are often resistant to trying something new.  Thus, they often gravitate to the television for entertainment.

The purpose of this article is to motivate and encourage Senior Men to be open and to have some fun.  Here are a few suggestions:

  • Art – There are so many mediums in art.  It would include photography, sketching, woodworking from a kit, scrapbooking with pictures of the family, sorting nuts, bolts, etc. into a pictorial representation
  • Music – Find the music that has special meaning to a person.  You will see their face light up. Music is soothing and brings back many memories of the past.
  • Puzzles – There are plenty of jigsaw puzzles for seniors of various abilities.  Some can do sudoku, others can enjoy crosswords puzzles or word find
  • Car Talk – Gather a selection of car magazines and new car brochures. Encourage a discussion about new cars vs. the old cars, foreign vs. domestic, manual vs. automatic transmission, 2-door, 4-door, convertibles, etc.
  • Game time with neighbors/friends – Organize a game of dominoes, checkers, chess, or a card game.  This brings others into the house with whom to socialize.
  • Exercise – This helps improve range of motion and is good as a daily activity
  • Gardening – If the man cannot get outside to garden, he can grow plants inside
  • Writing – Seniors have a rich background to share.  Use a tape recorder and then print the words he has spoken.  Just reading his own words can be exciting
  • Reading – If reading a book is too arduous, get books on tape that he will enjoy.
  • Model Building – There are simple kits available to build.  It could be a plane, car, boat, etc.
  • Bird Watching – Birds are everywhere.  All you need is binoculars and a book of birds to identify particular birds

Bringing something new into the diet of a senior man can be difficult if offered to quickly.  Here are some recommendations:

Make one goal

During the day, add some simple exercises or complete a small craft project.  It is good for the caregiver, family or professional, to offer encouragement and compliment the completed task.

A look at the past

Discuss and look at photographs of the man’s past.  Try to discern his hobbies that may appeal to his passions, dreams or old ambitions. Put on music that appeals to him is helpful as you go down memory lane.

Technology

Men are often drawn to technology and enjoy working on their computer.  It can be a perfect way for social networking.  It’s a way to connect with old friends and family.  It is also an acceptable way for men to play games.

Feeling Useful

Find ways for the man to feel useful around the house.  Something easy such as folding laundry or other light jobs would bring joy to his family caregiver.  It can be a way he can be praised.  One man I know is very strong.  When he opens jars, or tightens something, it brings a smile to his wife.

What a difference it would make to the man who now feels useful with goals and a vision of fun.

Why Is Balance So Important?

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I used to marvel at tight rope walkers in the circus.  How could they have such great balance and confidence.

In my younger years I was in lots of activities such as swimming, cheerleading, soccer, basketball, softball and track. I never thought about balance because it was never an issue.  When I got older, I seemed less secure and more apt to fall.  I wondered why.

Research suggests that older people often have poor balance due to loss of muscle strength and joint flexibility, as well as reduced vision and reaction time. And the risk of inner ear dysfunction, which can throw you off balance, increases with age. Falls, of course are a major cause of fractures, which increase as people get older

In our senior years, we like to think of ourselves as young, especially if our health is relatively good. The good news is that we can keep our resiliency if we learn tricks of the trade.

1.  Improve your balance by walking – Brisk walking helps build lower-body strength, an important element of good balance. Walking is safe exercise for most people and, in addition to improving balance, counts toward your aerobic activity goals.

2.  Endurance, or aerobic, activities – Group exercises, like yoga, Pilates, Tai Chi or Feldenkrais, are fun and social ways to improve flexibility and balance, key to helping prevent falls in older adults.  They also appeal to seniors living with arthritis. These activities not only increase your breathing and heart rate, they also increase your flexibility.  Some examples include jogging, dancing, swimming, and biking.  It is recommended that seniors age 65 and older get at least 2.5 hours of moderate aerobic exercise (such as brisk walking) every week. 

3.  Strength exercises make your muscles stronger – Swimming may well be the perfect lifelong sport: It’s a low-impact, joint-friendly, a sustainable way to stay in great shape at any age. I personally like it better than lifting weights, although weightlifting is included in my aerobic cases.

4. Balance exercises help prevent falls – These exercises include: Single Limb Stance, walking Heel to Toe, Clock Reach, Back Leg raises, and side leg raises.

5. Flexibility exercises stretch your muscles and can help your body stay limber. Stretching will help offset the effects of normal decline in the flexibility of your joints, and help you remain active and independent.  As we age muscles become shorter and lose their elasticity. Aging can affect the structure of your bones and muscles causing pain and decreased range of motion in the shoulders, spine and hips. Stretching is an excellent way to relax and relieve tension if you incorporate breathing exercises and good posture in your stretching program.  It becomes very important for seniors to maintain range of motion and your ability to move all joints normally with activities during the day.

Maybe we won’t ever walk a tight rope, but we can improve our balance and flexibility with a regular routine of varied exercises.

Be Creative with Tie Dyeing

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So often we wrack our brains to bring out the creative side of our loved ones who have dementia. You’ll want to do something that is relatively quick and easy.  Yet you’ll want the end-product to look fantastic.  Have I got a project for you…tie dyeing.

A few weeks ago, an artist friend of mine, Sue Reiter, talked about holding classes for tie dyeing.  I purchased a 100% cotton sweat shirt and went to her home where she holds these classes.  I’m not very artistic but was willing to try. 

First you decide upon the colors you’d like on your shirt.  I chose blue and green.  Then you wrap your white cotton shirt in rubber bands as directed by Sue.  You put on gloves and dip various parts of your shirt in the vats of dye of your choice. When you’ve finished you put the shirt in a plastic bag and take it home. After 24 hours you take the shirt out of the bag, take off the rubber bands and put the shirt in the washer (alone without any other clothes) and then dryer.  Wait another day and re-wash the shirt, put it in the dryer, and you’re done.  Under Sue’s directions, the shirts look great.  You and your loved ones can’t make a mistake.  The project is a success no matter what colors you use.  I wear mine often.

What I like about the project is that the messy part is done at Sue’s home.  They are set up for it.  You take it home, follow her directions for completion and you have a product you and your loved one can wear with pride. 

The participants of Memory Café will be doing this project as a group on March 4th.  You and your loved one with dementia are welcome to join us.

Memory Café is a place where family caregivers and their loved ones with beginning to intermediate stages of dementia can come together to learn, laugh, cry and meet others in a similar circumstance.  On March 4th we’ll meet at 1:00 PM at St. Mark United Methodist Church on Quincy Road in the parking lot opposite the church.  We’ll then ride together over to Sue Reiter’s home.  For more information on this trip and also coming activities for Memory Cafe call Bonnie at 864-916-9204.

New Year’s Resolutions for Rest and Relaxation

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This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is holidays.gifBy this time in my life I’ve made several resolutions.  Some I’ve kept for a few months.  Others lasted longer.  These resolutions were made in the years that my life was rather even; No real problems.  The resolutions ranged to giving up cigarettes to being kinder or more compassionate.

Have you ever noticed that when you’re caregiving for an older loved one with a serious health problem such as some form of dementia, New Year’s Resolutions are the last thing you’re thinking about?  Instead your focus is on survival. Maybe this is the time you really need to make a resolution—to give yourself rest and relaxation.   If you and your loved one live at home, you’ll find that 24/7 care for long periods of time (such as years) is exhausting.  There are many solutions and ways you can get respite for yourself and your loved one.

Respite for you and your loved one – An example of a free solutions is the Golden Corner Respite Care that meets every Thursday for 3 hours.  You drop your loved one of at the Episcopalian Church of Ascension (214 Northampton Rd, Seneca, SC 29672) at 1:00 and pick him or her up at 4:00. For more information call Cathy at (864) 973-7590

Memory Café – This is a free program offered at Saint Mark United Methodist church, where you and your loved one can have fun together. During our trips or programs, you’ll find caregivers and patients laughing, holding hands, making new friends with others who have similar problem.  Field trips include a boat ride, tie dying, visiting a farm or a zoo and many more sites.  In February we’re going to Kilwins Chocolates, a company in Greenville where we’ll see them making chocolate, get some ice cream and buy any candies that strike your fancy.  All programs are free.  For more information call Bonnie at 864-016-9204.

Support – There are several local support groups that include free care and activities for your loved one in a separate room.  These are especially good for gaining a perspective of your caregiving situation by asking questions and listening to others who have similar problems. For more information call Eunice at 864-882-8940.

Educational – There are several free educational programs given through the Greenville Hospital System.  Call Eunice (864-882-8940) for more information.  Clemson University sponsors the REACH PROGRAM.  Call Dr. Dye for more information on when and where they are given (864-656-4442). The Alzheimer’s Association sponsors several of their own educational programs and offer free caregiving for your loved one while you are attending an event.  Call Sam for more information 864-224-3045

For a slight fee you might investigate the Senior Solution Day Care Program.  Call Debra at 864-885-1000

In-Home Non-Medical Care – If you are financially able, In-Home Non-Medical care companies offer care at your convenience, for as many hours and days that you wish, right in your own home.  You will want to make sure the company offers reliable care and has good compassionate caregivers. There are several that are available.  My company, Loving Health Care, Inc. is local – not widespread throughout the US.  It is in Seneca, SC.   We service people in both Oconee and Pickens Counties. You can always talk to the owner directly and get any situation planned and/or resolved to your satisfaction. For more information call Bonnie at 864-916-9204.

Be Creative With Tie Dyeing

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A great activity for you and your loved one

So often we wrack our brains to bring out the creative side of our loved ones who have dementia. You’ll want to do something that is relatively quick and easy.  Yet you’ll want the end-product to look fantastic.  Have I got a project for you…tie dyeing.

A few weeks ago, an artist friend of mine, Sue Reiter, talked about holding classes for tie dyeing.  I purchased a 100% cotton sweat shirt and went to her home where she holds these classes.  I’m not very artistic but was willing to try. 

First you decide upon the colors you’d like on your shirt.  I chose blue and green.  Then you wrap your white cotton shirt in rubber bands as directed by Sue.  You put on gloves and dip various parts of your shirt in the vats of dye of your choice. When you’ve finished you put the shirt in a plastic bag and take it home. After 24 hours you take the shirt out of the bag, take off the rubber bands and put the shirt in the washer (alone without any other clothes) and then dryer.  Wait another day and re-wash the shirt, put it in the dryer, and you’re done.  Under Sue’s directions, the shirts look great.  You and your loved ones can’t make a mistake.  The project is a success no matter what colors you use.  I wear mine often.

What I like about the project is that the messy part is done at Sue’s home.  They are set up for it.  You take it home, follow her directions for completion and you have a product you and your loved one can wear with pride. 

The participants of Memory Café will be doing this project as a group on March 4th.  You and your loved one with dementia are welcome to join us.

Memory Café is a place where family caregivers and their loved ones with beginning to intermediate stages of dementia can come together to learn, laugh, cry and meet others in a similar circumstance.  On March 4th we’ll meet at 1:00 PM at St. Mark United Methodist Church on Quincy Road in the parking lot opposite the church.  We’ll then ride together over to Sue Reiter’s home.  For more information call Bonnie at 864-916-9204.

You Don’t Want to Miss…

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Have you ever wondered what life is like for your loved one with dementia?  He or she gets confused, can’t remember what was served for any meal right after eating; or as the dementia worsens, he or she doesn’t Know your relationship, but does know he or she loves you.  Their dependency on you grows and alters your life perhaps for years.  What do you do?  What help, resources and support are available? We’d like to offer you a workshop that will answer these questions

The workshop includes a pre-support group to discuss your current problems; a 5-minute virtual dementia tour so you can understand some of the confusion and frustration they experience; and a post-support group to gain new ideas on caring for your loved one.  You will most likely walk away with a new view of life for you and your loved one.  This workshop will take place on June 7th, 2018 from 6:00 to 9:00 PM at St Mark United Methodist Church located at 616 Quincy Road, Seneca, SC 29678. That evening, you may enter the church from the side door located on Ben Hilda Street.

Please bring your loved ones if they are still independent, with beginning or intermediate stages of dementia.  They will be fed and entertained in a separate room from you with music, games and a movie.  They will be supervised by a staff of four.   You too will be provided dinner, the virtual dementia tour, group support before and after your experience, and a notebook of resources to take home.  As a result, you will have more empathy and have a stronger desire to make sure your loved one has as much quality of life as possible.  You will learn how to stimulate their minds with puzzles and games they can enjoy; you will be given tips on range of motion and balance exercises; and offer them nourishing snacks and meals that will help both of you live more enriched quality of life.

Here is the best part:  This workshop including your dinner and a resource book is FREE.  Companies and individuals have sponsored this workshop so that you can just come learn and enjoy.   We will limit this workshop to 64 participants, so that it does not last later than 9:00 PM.  Please register early.

I believe this experience will change your life and your loved one’s life.  Won’t you join us?  To register get in touch with Marla Fuller at Saint Mark United Methodist Church.  email:mfuller@smumcsc.org.; phone: 864-882-2603; online address: hhtp://smumcsc.org/walk-in-my-shoes/.  When you register, let us also know if you are bringing your loved one with dementia.

 

 

Is It Dementia?

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Portrait of a senior woman contemplating. Isolated on black background.Sometimes it may appear that your loved one has a form of dementia.  However, other problems may be the cause of their dementia-like symptoms.

One of my clients went to the hospital with kidney problems due to dehydration. She also had congestive heart failure and suffered from depression.  For months she had not been taking care of herself.  She was not eating correctly, got little to no exercise and became a recluse in her own home.  Her body filled with fluids due to her congestive heart condition, making her twice as heavy as normal.  Once the doctors, through proper medication, got her bodily fluids back to normal, making sure she also drank plenty of water with a proper diet, and her depression diminished, her symptoms of dementia were gone.

Dr. Joe James, a friend of mine, is a well-known, conscientious, retired Orthopedic surgeon in Seneca, South Carolina.  One of his family members was afflicted with Alzheimer’s disease.  Therefore, he delved into all the aspects of the disease.  In this article, Dr. James has enumerated several factors that may cause symptoms of dementia.  Dr. James stated that our body is made up of many organ systems.  They all must be operating well to have good health.  When one organ system is compromised, it affects every other organ system, including the brain.  Factors that may affect your brain with symptoms that mimic dementia include:

Dehydration – A common fault of seniors is that we don’t drink enough water.  Without daily replacement the volume of fluids in the body decreases through the normal function of the kidneys and by evaporation through the lungs and skin. Not keeping up with this daily loss of water will result in dehydration which causes confusion that looks like Alzheimer’s disease.

Depression – Many seniors fail to have enough activity and exercise.  With onset on health problems this can cause depression and can result in difficulty thinking clearly, concentrating and/or making decisions.

Thyroid problems– Underactive or over active thyroid problems can cause cognitive difficulties such as forgetfulness and lack of concentration which mimic dementia.

Malnutrition – So many older adults no longer like to cook and as a result have an unhealthy diet. One of the most common deficiencies they have is lack of many of the vitamins, including Vitamin B-12.  Malnutrition can prevent the brain from functioning properly, mimicking dementia like symptoms.

Medication problems – such as a dosage that is too high, an incorrect prescription, reaction with over-the counter drugs or inconsistency in taking the medication can cause rapid onset of cognitive symptoms.

Infections –Chronic infections such as urinary tract infections and deep weeping skin ulcerations from venous stasis in the legs or from pressure sores on the buttocks or hips can also affect the brain’s functioning, resulting in confusion, foggy thinking, difficulty concentrating or forgetfulness.

It is so important that when any dementia-like symptoms occur that you visit your doctor for a full diagnostic workup which includes a biochemical profile with a multi-panel blood analysis.  Several possibilities might need to be explored before an accurate diagnosis is made.  Only then can proper treatment be started that focuses on whatever is causing the Alzheimer’s-like symptoms.

Preparing for the Holidays

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familyThe holidays are a time when family and friends often come together. But for families living with loved ones who have dementia, the holidays can be tiring and stressful.  With some planning and adjusted expectations, your celebrations can still be happy, memorable occasions.  Some suggestions include:

Prepare the Guests.  Explain what has happened to the person with dementia.  Give examples of the memory loss behaviors your loved one with dementia (the patient) may have.  For example the patient may not remember your name or relationship.  However, what is most important is the meaningfulness of the moment spent together and not what the person remembers.

 

Adjust expectations.  Traditional holiday activities which the family has enjoyed throughout the years may have to change.  You are not obligated to attend every social gathering of the season.  Remember that each commitment you agree to means that you are also saying no to time to relax, time to prepare, and time to spend with prime loved ones. Set your limits early, stick to them and be clear about them with others.  You do not have to live up to the expectations of others.
Be good to yourself.  Give yourself permission to do only what you can reasonably manage. If you’ve always invited 15 to 20 people to your home, consider inviting only a few guests for a simple meal.  It will keep the noise level down, easier to manage, and less tiring.  Let others contribute.

Do a variation on a theme.  If evening confusion and agitation are a problem, consider changing a holiday dinner into a holiday lunch or brunch. Keep the hours of entertaining short. Guests might go sightseeing during hours you don’t want to entertain, giving you and your loved one a chance to rest and relax.

Involve the person with dementia in safe, manageable activities.  This can help to prepare the person for the holiday and give you an opportunity to spend quality time together.

Involve the person in holiday preparation.  As the person’s abilities allow, invite him or her to help you prepare food, wrap packages, help decorate or set the table. This could be as simple as having the person measure an ingredient or give decorations to you as you put them up.

Maintain a normal routine.  Sticking to the person’s normal routine will help keep the holidays from becoming disruptive or confusing.  Plan for breaks and rest throughout the day.

Build on past traditions and memories.  Focus on activities that are meaningful to the person with dementia. Your family member may find comfort in singing old holiday songs or looking through old photo albums.

I wish you and your family a very happy holiday season.