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Special Programs for Special People

Caregiving is an act of love.  You put so much of yourself in caring for your loved one.  In the process you lose socializing with your friends and the activities you once enjoyed.  Somehow that is not recognized.  When family and friends call, they mainly ask about the patient.  If you are too proud to discuss your problems, rarely does the caller offer support or aid.  I was a family caregiver for my mother, then father and finally my best friend and experienced the joy of caregiving as well as the loneliness and fatigue.

This is a good time to form a support team from your family, friends and perhaps professionals.  Getting respite and taking care of yourself allows you to be a much better caregiver.  Friends and family are glad to help if they help in a way that makes them feel comfortable.

In some instances, you may also need to hire professional care.  I did.  I was still working each time I took care of my family member and best friend. 

If you hire a trustworthy agency, they offer expertise that you and your support team may not have.  

For instance, Loving Health Care present professional caregivers who are responsible and well trained in caring for your loved one.  As well as personal care and light housekeeping, their care includes physical exercise, mental stimulation, plus the preparation of healthy meals.  New to our offering is a wellness program for family caregivers.  At least once a month I spend time with the family caregiver listening to concerns, tensions, or anxieties. When appropriate I make suggestions to solve or ease the problems at hand.  I come bearing the gift of a homemade casserole or soup for the family to eat and enjoy.

Loving Health Care also offers a “Share a Caregiver” Program where your professional caregiving cost is drastically reduced.  If, for example you and your neighbor or friend both have a loved one with any form of dementia, a caregiver will take care of both patients at the same time and at one house.  Not only does this lower your cost of professional caregiving, it also enables your loved one to enjoy more socialization.

Caregiving is an act of love and a 24/7 commitment.  Loving Health Care recognizes this and goes the extra mile to make sure your professional caregiving experience is of the highest quality.

We make decisions every day:  What are my priorities of the day?  What should I wear?  What should I eat for breakfast, lunch, and/or dinner?  These are easy choices.  Sometimes, however, the decisions are weightier, and the choices are not so easy.

I know a young woman who has terminal cancer.  She is happily married and has two young children.  Her choices are to continue chemotherapy and radiation which make her extremely ill or to stop treatment and let nature take its course with pain relief from hospice.

There are too many divorces.  Yet, if you are unhappily married to (for example) a cheater or an abusive spouse and marriage counselling has not produced results, what do you do?

Professional caregivers working in private homes, are sometimes asked to care for clients in unhealthy or unsafe situations.  Either the client smokes, is abusive, or is heavy making transfers from a wheelchair to a toilet exceedingly difficult.  In a facility two caregivers would be assigned, and or a device would be used to make the transfer safe for both the client and caregiver.  Caregivers may be special people; however, they are not exempt from paying bills.  Do they quit or stay in an unsafe or unhealthy environment if the pay is taking care of their bills?

During this Covid-19 pandemic family caregivers have had to make tremendous sacrifices, especially if caring for a senior patient.   There are so many emotional strains knowing that your loved one is terminally ill or has dementia with no ability to make decisions or relate on an adult level.  Because money is tight and services are few, so many decisions are left to the family caregiver.  Lack of sleep and emotional strains make it difficult for the family caregiver to be kind, considerate, loving, and patient with their loved one.  Do they continue being the sole caregiver or do they hire a professional caregiver at least once a week? Just once a week visiting with a relative, neighbor or friend (laughing and having fun) helps to subside the strain for family caregivers.  I see a big difference in the family caregivers who do get help.  Choices.  In difficult situations they are so difficult to make.  Maybe there is not a clear-cut answer.  Maybe there is not any satisfying answer.  This is where prayer and letting God help is the best way to make your best choice

I am very proud to write you that Loving Health Care, Inc. has won the best caregiving company in our area for the second year in a row. That is an honor for me.

Loving Health Care, Inc. is a small company only serving clients in Oconee and Pickens Counties.  Bonnie Holmes, president of Loving Health Care, was a teacher and principal in her career.  Later, she took care of her Mom, Dad, and best friend as their needs arose.  It seems like a calling more than a career, for which she has natural abilities.

The company only works with around six clients at a time.  The purpose is to provide the best care possible. Our caregivers are carefully screened to bring only dedicated individuals.  They are often older ladies who have developed a work ethic that keeps them working with excellent attendance and very attentive to their clients’ every need.

During this Corona Virus period, the caregivers are screened to make sure they are virus free.  With our newer clients we follow strict safety rules by wearing masks and gloves. Our older clients have gotten used to their caregivers and treat them like family.  They do not always want their caregiver to wear a mask or a glove barrier.  However, when they request safety, we readily comply.

Loving Health Care, Inc. works with clients who have many different types of health problems such as cancer and heart disease.  Our specialty is working with clients who have different forms of dementia. The most common form is Alzheimer’s disease.  However, we have worked with clients suffering from Vascular Dementia, Parkinson’s disease, Frontotemporal Dementia, and mixed dementia.  The caregivers are trained to help your loved one stimulate their mind, exercise their body and to provide nutritious meals.

Loving Health Care, Inc. would feel honored to show you why we won the Best Care Giving Company in our area.

The Corona Virus has robbed us of social contact and for many has put us into financial difficulties.  It is so easy to get depressed over the situation.  However, do pity parties ever help?  Instead let’s see if we can find some silver linings.

When I am driving or taking walks with my dog, I see parents playing and enjoying their quality time with their children.  When I text or phone my friends and church family, I hear lots of news about their families. 

When I go into a grocery store, I see people buying foods that can be put into stews or soups and on the whole buying less expensive necessities as opposed to whims.  Because many businesses are closed and because of financial difficulties, people are spending less and making do with what they have.  They begin to get joy out of simple pleasures such as gardening and enjoying nature springing up all around them.  So often when we travel to less advantaged countries, we see children playing with things found in nature or homemade. They seem to be enjoying life as much or even more than our children and adults with more expensive toys.

We are a one of the wealthiest nations.  Have we become so spoiled that we overlook simple joys provided by nature, living less expensively, and putting our emphasis on helping others rather satisfying our every whim?

On top of the Virus, we also experienced a tornado that caused havoc in our community.  It displaced some and caused a large expense to others losing possessions they may never regain.  What happened?  Our community and neighboring communities came to help clean up the mess.  Some of our corporations donated funds.  Verbal support came as far away as Africa. 

The support, outreach, love and encouragement are miraculous.  People taking the time to care about others.  Perhaps, out of our recent tragedies we may gain a new vision of what community and family life should and could be.  Working together, having time to raise our children and helping our elderly family members with enriching activities and quality time could change our vision.  Enjoying simple pleasures.   Is it really all about the superficiality of what money can buy or is there a more important vision that would help us in the present and add to the enrichment of our children and grandchildren?  Perhaps this is the silver lining of our present tragedies.

Your loved one may be a budding “Grandma Moses”.  Anna Mary Robertson (Moses), also known as “Grandma Moses,” began art in her late seventies.  She was completely self-taught.  Anna lost her husband, Thomas Moses and suffered a great loss. She sought ways to keep busy and overcome her grief.  Art was the answer for her.

It may also be the answer for patients with Alzheimer’s disease.  Alzheimer’s is a progressive disease that affects the brain in a predictable way.  It begins in the hippocampus, the area of the brain responsible for creating memories from experiences.  From there it moves to the front of the brain where language is processed and executive functions like decision making are formulated.  Next, it moves to the logic center where problem solving and planning are controlled.  Emotions and creativity remain viable for a much longer time.

Studies have shown that art is a wonderful therapy for patients with any type of dementia. “We would never have discovered my mother’s talent if not for an art program.   Mom’s creativity had profound, positive effects on her, and as a result, our family.” 

To help introduce your loved one to the arts, you might want to come to Memory Café where the two of you can enjoy trips and activities for free.   Memory Café is going to Glazing on Main Street located in Clemson.  There we will choose a piece of pottery and paint it.  Glazing on Main Street will then put your masterpiece in a kiln, bake it and turn it into a professional piece of art that you may keep forever.

Memory Café is a place where family caregivers and their loved ones with beginning to intermediate stages of dementia can come together to learn, laugh, cry and meet others in a similar circumstance.     Some people with dementia lose their ability to relate to people.  Memory Cafe has been found to deepen connections with other people.  The activities become the topic of conversation, which increases their self-worth.  The bottom line is it helps patients with dementia live with dignity, purpose and self-esteem.

So, is your loved one a budding “Grandma Moses” just waiting for the opportunity to express his or her creativity?  Come join us on July 1^st to find out. 

It is with pleasure that I’d like to give you a progress report on Memory Café.  It started in July of this year with 4 participants. It then moved up to 12 members.  Now going into November there are 19 members.

Memory Café meets once a month on the first Monday of each month, usually from 1:00 – 3:00 in the afternoon at Saint Mark Church.  It is a place where family caregivers and their loved ones with beginning to intermediate stages of dementia can come together to learn, laugh, cry and meet others in a similar circumstance.

Sometimes we sit and discuss concerns, do some easy and fun aerobics, have a snack and plan for the next meeting.  Other times we go on field trips.  We have had two outstanding field trips.  The first, in September was a pontoon ride on Lake Keowee.  We had enough people to fill two boats. What I noticed was the faces.  Both caregivers and loved ones with dementia relaxed.  There were smiles instead of tension.  There was laughter instead of frustration.  You could see couples holding hands conversing with others in the group.  They loved it so much that they wanted to plan another boat ride in the Spring.

 In the beginning of October, we went to Denver Downs.  Everyone was able to go on the hayride.  While on the hayride we stopped at a field where pumpkins grew.  Each participant chose

 a pumpkin, finished the ride and then went off to pet the animals, mostly friendly goats.  Both trips ended with snacking and eating picnic style where we found out interesting facts about each participant.

In November we are making decorations to cover a 7-foot tall Duke Power Christmas tree. December will be a party that will conclude by visiting Duke Power to admire our tree.

Please come join us.  We’d love to have you.  For more information call Bonnie Holmes at 864-916-9204

The addictions that come because of unresolved problems, unhappiness or stress is a topic we seldom think about and rarely talk about.  My friend Mary Ann was caught up in an addiction because of taking care of two loved ones at one time.  She felt like she had no life, she felt isolated and depressed, so an addiction soon followed. She helped me write this article.

We might insist that we don’t have an addiction, and yet perhaps we do.  Some people are addicted to alcohol, others food.  Some are addicted to drugs, smoking, or gambling.  Others might be addicted to shopping excessively online.

What is an addiction?  Addiction is a condition in which a person engages in use of a substance or in a behavior for which the rewarding effects provide a compelling incentive to repeatedly pursue the behavior despite detrimental consequences.

You, as a family caregiver of a senior loved one, may be vulnerable.  You are so involved in caregiving that you put your life on hold.  When caregiving for your loved one for years, your happiness wanes and may be replaced by anger, loneliness, exhaustion, etc.  You may recognize some of these signs:

Hunger: When you are hungry either you don’t eat, or you eat excessively.

Anger: If you are feeling overwhelmed or trapped you might resent being the family caregiver, but don’t want others to know.  So, you harbor anger and resentment, letting it build up.

Lonely: Some feel isolated and alone.  Perhaps family members who promised to help, were not as committed as you.  They left you with the whole burden. You don’t know how or where to go for help.

Tired: You might feel like a 24-hour nurse.  You become tired of feeling tired.

Loss of money: Family caregiving is expensive.  Buying equipment, medication, professional caregivers or residency in a facility for your loved one may eat away at your savings.

Any of the above may drive you into an addiction. What can you do instead?

If your loved one has any type of dementia you may get involved with a respite program or a support group or our newest offering a Memory Café.  At any of these events you may bring your loved one or get a voucher through the Alzheimer’s Association for a free caregiver for the event(s) you’d like to attend.  Please call or email me.  I will be happy to give you information for the type of support you need.  I’m just a phone call away.  Bonnie Holmes, 864-916-9204 or bonnielholmes1@gmail.com .  Please don’t let yourself become overwhelmed.  I’m just a phone call away and would love to help.