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Choices

Posted on September 25, 2020 by Bonnie Holmes Posted in Uncategorized

We make decisions every day:  What are my priorities of the day?  What should I wear?  What should I eat for breakfast, lunch, and/or dinner?  These are easy choices.  Sometimes, however, the decisions are weightier, and the choices are not so easy.

I know a young woman who has terminal cancer.  She is happily married and has two young children.  Her choices are to continue chemotherapy and radiation which make her extremely ill or to stop treatment and let nature take its course with pain relief from hospice.

There are too many divorces.  Yet, if you are unhappily married to (for example) a cheater or an abusive spouse and marriage counselling has not produced results, what do you do?

Professional caregivers working in private homes, are sometimes asked to care for clients in unhealthy or unsafe situations.  Either the client smokes, is abusive, or is heavy making transfers from a wheelchair to a toilet exceedingly difficult.  In a facility two caregivers would be assigned, and or a device would be used to make the transfer safe for both the client and caregiver.  Caregivers may be special people; however, they are not exempt from paying bills.  Do they quit or stay in an unsafe or unhealthy environment if the pay is taking care of their bills?

During this Covid-19 pandemic family caregivers have had to make tremendous sacrifices, especially if caring for a senior patient.   There are so many emotional strains knowing that your loved one is terminally ill or has dementia with no ability to make decisions or relate on an adult level.  Because money is tight and services are few, so many decisions are left to the family caregiver.  Lack of sleep and emotional strains make it difficult for the family caregiver to be kind, considerate, loving, and patient with their loved one.  Do they continue being the sole caregiver or do they hire a professional caregiver at least once a week? Just once a week visiting with a relative, neighbor or friend (laughing and having fun) helps to subside the strain for family caregivers.  I see a big difference in the family caregivers who do get help.  Choices.  In difficult situations they are so difficult to make.  Maybe there is not a clear-cut answer.  Maybe there is not any satisfying answer.  This is where prayer and letting God help is the best way to make your best choice

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